I received a LinkedIn Inmail from a ‘technical recruiter’ today. It fried my ass because it was so stupid.
Here is the inmail:
I need to pick this apart so that my fellow recruiters can understand why I told this guy that he should ‘pursue a job in fast food’.
1) “I ran across your profile on LinkedIn and found your background to be impressive.”
I’m pretty sure every software engineer on the planet is sick of that opening line.
What is impressive about my background? Do you really understand the technologies on my resume?
2) “I have an opportunity with our direct client that you would be a perfect fit for the role.”
What is an ‘opportunity’? What is a ‘direct client’? Why should I care? How do you know I’d be a perfect fit? Are you saying that if you submit me, because I’m a ‘perfect fit’ – they are going to just give me the job?
3) “If you are interested please forward you updated resume in Word.”
Why would I want to do that? I don’t know you yet. Why should I believe you? What if I don’t want to take the time to ‘update my resume’? What if I think MS Word sucks and I like to use TextMate? Also, did you notice the typo in that sentence?
4) “If not, would you point me in the direction of anyone who you feel might be qualified and interested?”
WTF? We have not even talked yet and you want to go after my co-workers? That’s like asking a girl for a date, but at the same time asking if she’s got a cute sister (just in case).
5) “You’ll earn referral fees when the candidates get hired.”
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER offer a referral to a candidate on the front end. This is lazy, stupid, and opens up all kinds of issues. What if this candidate lands the job? Are you going to give him a referral fee?
6) Lastly, I’m not a Rails Developer (which is what he was attempting to hire). So that made me laugh even harder about his opening lines: “I ran across your profile on LinkedIn and found your background to be impressive. I have an opportunity with our direct client that you would be a perfect fit for the role.”
We, as recruiters can do so much better. Don’t piss off the people you want to work with by using such trite crap.
12/15/2014 – update: Here’s another one!
I hope this message finds you well. My name is S*** B*** and I am a Talent Manager for Kforce. I was reviewing your profile today and I am reaching out to you because you have an extremely impressive application development background. Additionally, I specialize in the placement of application developers and am currently working to support Rackspace in the acquisition of a Sr. Ruby developer.
It has been my experience that the best way to identify highly skilled professionals, such as yourself, is through strong networking. With that idea in mind, I wanted to see if there is a time we can talk more in depth regarding your experience and the marketplace. Additionally, if you know someone who may be looking to make a change feel free to forward my name and contact info. Please let me know if there is a good time to reach out to you.
Thank you very much for your time and help. I look forward to speaking with you.
Slightly better. Still has issues.